As I kept myself occupied with a ‘F.R.I.E.N.D.S’ marathon, I came across an episode in which ‘Phoebe’ suggests a book to the girls, and they get totally hooked to it. It was, ‘Be Your Own Windkeeper’, and it talked about how men take away our wind. It forced me to think if it was true.
There is a separate class of men (in which, majority of them fall in) out there who think of women as trophies. They still have the idea that men are and should always be superior to women. For them, it won’t matter if you’re more qualified or experienced than them, what will matter is that their opinions be regarded with more importance than yours. Around them, you can’t really be yourself. You can’t laugh your heart out, because he may think that you’re too loud. You can’t watch an animation movie, because he may think you’re childish. You can’t be too outspoken, because according to him, that’s not how a lady should behave. You can’t even wear a hoodie in front of his friends, because he doesn’t want his girl to look like a tomboy in front of them! And, most importantly, he might even feel insecure if you earn more than him. These things may seem petty for us, because, naturally, women are created like this. They are forgiving, and compromising and adjusting in nature. We are. At least, I can say, that I’ve given up more of ‘me’, to be with the man I loved.
Then, at times, I wonder, why do I have to give away myself- my wind, always, to be more like the kind of girl, he always wanted to be with? Does love and relationships require change in our personalities to survive? Do men ever realize that whatever we do, we do just to be with them? Do they ever realise that it’s the fear of losing them and not the love, that is making us give up our winds?
Well, some do and some don’t. And that is what decides who stays and who goes.
Those who don’t understand that women are people as well, will always try to bring you down. They will make you feel like you’ve done nothing with your life and you cannot ever do better than them. They will make you believe that you’re lucky to have them. That, you should always agree with them, because they have seen the world like you haven’t. They will decide what is best for you and what is not. These are the ones who stop your wind from blowing, and trust me, you do not want to end up with one of this kind.
On the other hand, there are men who understand you, who consider your emotions and your feelings important; who take your advice on things, not just for formalities (because there are some who will ask you what they should do and always, without a fail, end up doing just the opposite- stay clear of those), and actually listen to your opinions and incorporate them in their lives. They will hold your hand through tough times and just be there by your side through your rocky patches. They will appreciate you, your work, and your position in their lives. They will complete you. They will turn your wind into a fu*king storm (in a good, powerful way), and be supportive of you, while you’re out there achieving your dreams.
Oh boy, do I crave for a man like this? I do, honestly. Because I can’t wait anymore to be around someone with whom I can truly and unconditionally, be myself. With whom, I can feel confident and not demotivated; with whom, I can feel wanted and needed, and not a burden. With whom, I can feel like a human, and not a trophy.
Concluding, I’d say that not all men take away our winds. The ones who do, are not meant to be with you. And the right ones, never take away anything from you, other than your misery, your tears and your sadness. All they know is to give- the love and freedom that you deserve.